Society, and sometimes even the church, tries to condition us into thinking that anger is innately wrong and
sinful. You might have been told things like, “Anger is poison. You should get rid of it before it kills you.” Or,
“Anger doesn’t solve anything, it only destroys.” Or, “Anger is your biggest enemy.” Statements like these
make us believe that when we feel anger, something must be wrong with us. This is simply not the case.
Although anger can be a deadly poison when unchecked and mishandled, it’s also a fuel for justice and doing
right. Anger in its essence is a good and healthy emotion. For example, when you see injustice happening,
perhaps a man knocks down a woman and takes her purse, you ought to feel angry toward that behavior.
Anger is meant to compel your thinking and to call into action that something must be done to correct this
injustice.
Anger has been wrongly labeled as the opposite of love, in an attempt to demonize anger as something
unloving and inappropriate. However, the opposite of anger isn’t love, it’s indifference. Imagine your
daughter tells you that she was raped, and you feel completely indifferent about it, so you do absolutely
nothing in response. Where is the love for your daughter? Anger is a godly attribute prompting you to
respond to whatever threatens the things you love. The late pastor Timothy Keller said, “To see what your
heart loves the most, you need only ask what you are defending.” John Christensen (American preacher
1800’s) said, “He that is angry without cause sins, and he that is not angry when there is cause, sins.”
Anger, as with all emotions, needs to have guardrails, as no emotion ought to govern our decisions. Our
intellect, not our emotions, should always be the deciding factor as to when and how we respond. Anger
alerts us that something is wrong, and our mind determines the appropriate course of action. This essay aims
to clarify when anger is good or when it is out of bounds, as well as provide some helpful strategies to go from
being a hot-head to a person that exhibits godly self-control.
The Bible uses the term “slow anger” to describe the very nature of God. In fact, slow anger is one of God’s
primary attributes. I say primary attribute because slow anger is one of a few key character traits that
describe God’s nature in Exodus 34:6, which is the most repeated verse in the Bible. God really wants us to
know these traits about Him. Exodus 34:6 says, “Then the LORD passed by in front of him and proclaimed,
“The LORD, the LORD God, compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in lovingkindness
and truth.” God is revealing Himself to Moses and He wants Moses to understand the depth and breadth of
His good nature.
So, what is slow anger? If you have to put anger on a spectrum, one end would be hot anger, referring to a
person who lets his anger govern his choices. Hot anger is sinful. On the other end would be indifference,
where a person doesn’t care, has no love for others and no desire to protect; a useless man. Indifference is
sinful. In the middle somewhere is a healthy balance, called slow anger. Slow anger rightly perceives sin and
injustice for what it is, and then responds in an appropriate and healthy way to correct it. Being made in the
image of God, mankind has the ability to operate with slow anger. Doing so, we exhibit Christ-like behavior.
Proverbs 14:29, “He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick tempered exalts
folly.” Proverbs 15:18, “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but the slow to anger calms a dispute.” Proverbs
16:32, “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who capturesa city.” Proverbs 19:11, “A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook a
transgression.”
Ephesians 4:26 says, “Be angry, and yet do not sin.” The charge, “Be angry”, is an imperative statement. This
means that when anger is called for, not that you might be angry, but that you should be angry. But, be
warned, when you let anger govern you, then it quickly becomes a sinful and controlling force in your life. This
is the hot-anger, or sinful anger, that the Bible says brings about so much trouble. Hot anger literally has a
biological effect on the body. Proverbs 14:30, “A tranquil heart is life to the body, but passion is rottenness
to the bones.” That word, “passion” means ardor: a stirring aggression, that when undealt with eats away at
your health. Unchecked anger produces stress chemicals causing metabolic change, which can result in deadly
problems like heart attack or stroke. Unchecked anger problems can incur long-term problems like high blood
pressure, eczema, anxiety, insomnia, and depression. Unchecked anger can result in short-term problems
having to do with digestion issues or headaches.
Not only does sinful hot anger impact your wellbeing, it invites destruction on those around you. Proverbs
19:19, “A man of great anger will bear the penalty; for if you rescue him, you will only have to do it again.”
This is saying that a hot-angered man is going to suffer for it, and anyone who tries to rescue him will have to
do it again, and again, and again. Therefore, my sinful anger not only impacts me, but those in my close circle.
Anger also goes from good to sinful when I direct anger at a person, not an evil behavior. Proverbs 24:29, “Do
not say, “I shall do to him as he has done to me; I will render to the man according to his work.” This
response says, “I’m going to get that guy!” Instead, when we allow the Holy Spirit to govern us, He equips us
to handle situations appropriately, with kindness and gentleness; both are “fruits of the Spirit” found in
Galatians 5:22-23. The word kindness means to respond with grace in the face of sin. Abraham Lincoln said, “I
kill my enemies by making them my friends.” Gentleness means strength under control. Regarding
gentleness, Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
So, controlled and loving anger goes after the problem, not the person.
One of the greatest examples I know of gentle and slow anger being put into action came from my friend Eric.
Eric is a big dude, maybe 6’3”, and probably 260 pounds. Eric has been in and out of prison and knows how to
engage a man in a fight. He can handle himself. The last time Eric was in prison, Jesus got ahold of him and
Eric’s been a changed man ever since he let the Lord govern his life. Eric and his wife have been blessed with
many kids, and years ago their eldest daughter and her baby were living with them. One particular night Eric
and his wife walked into the house to find their daughter’s fiancé (and the baby’s father), standing over their
daughter beating her to a pulp, and all while she was clutching their infant son in her arms. By the time Eric
walked in, his daughter was a bloody mess and the fiancé kept pounding away. Eric grabbed the man and
restrained him, which was a simple task as the fiancé was half his size. Meanwhile Eric’s wife called 911 and
attended to their daughter. Their daughter was beaten so badly that she’d eventually have multiple brain
surgeries which required a large chunk of her skull to be removed in order for the brain damage to be
attended to. She almost died and had to learn how to speak again. That night, when the cops showed up on
the scene, Eric was still calmly restraining the fiancé, until he was placed in cuffs by the police. A Sergeant
turned off his video-camera, took Eric into another room and told him, “Hey, just between you and me, youcould have beaten this guy, and it would have been completely justified as self-defense. How is it that you
didn’t do anything to him?” Eric replied, “I was plenty angry tonight and I know what it’s like to let my anger
take over. I’ve spent plenty of time in prison for the things I’ve done to people out of anger. But Jesus took
that type of behavior out of me and He helps me to live with control.” That’s gentleness; strength under
control. That’s anger, but not hot-anger.
Anger becomes problematic when it’s uncontrolled or disproportionate. For example, continuing to examine
Ephesians 4:26-27, “Be angry and yet do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give
the devil an opportunity.” When I deal with my anger the same day, or that evening as the verse suggests,
then I’m keeping my anger in check. However, taking my anger to bed with me means that it’s unchecked and
uncontrolled, thus creating an opportunity for Satan to manipulate and exasperate my anger. Satan plants
greater and greater acts of revenge and exaggerates what I’ve lost or how I’ve been hurt.
What Would Jesus Do?
If you ask someone if Jesus ever got angry, they’d probably cite the Scripture where Jesus cleansed the
temple, using a whip and overturning tables. This example is usually misunderstood, but it does provide a
great example God demonstrating slow anger. John 2:13-16 records, “The Passover of the Jews was near,
and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. And He found in the temple those who were selling oxen and sheep and
doves, and the money changers seated at their tables. And He made a scourge of cords, and drove them all
out of the temple, with the sheep and the oxen; and He poured out the coins of the money changers and
overturned their tables; and to those who were selling the doves He said, “Take these things away; stop
making My Father’s house a place of business.”
What’s happening here? At the time of Passover, all Jewish males living within a certain radius of Jerusalem
were required to come to the temple and pay a temple tax as well as make sacrifices for themselves and their
family. This resulted in over a million Jews descending upon Jerusalem. A great deal of business took place
during this week-long festival. The largest outermost courtyard of the Jerusalem temple was known as the
Gentile Court because it was the only portion of the temple grounds were Gentiles could go. In this Gentile
court they would have money changers and merchants selling various animals for sacrifice. The money
changers would exchange Roman coinage for Jewish coinage before the money could be placed in the temple
treasury. This exchange took place because Roman coins depicted Caesar’s image along with inscriptions that
said Caesar was god. This was considered blasphemy. The problem was that money changers would exploit
the Jews and upcharge the exchange of currency so that they could make a significant profit.
Another way merchant’s took advantage of the poor Jews, was to exploit the selling of animals at a greatly
exaggerated rate. Three types of animals were sold during the festival; oxen, sheep, and doves. Oxen for the
Chagigah (the feast on the 2nd Passover day), sheep for the Passover supper, and doves for offerings of the
poor. First of all, the Scriptures commanded that families were to bring their own animals to offer, because it
made the offering that much more of a sacrifice; having raised the animal and cared for it themselves
(Deuteronomy 12). The Jews neglected these instructions and made the temple a house of convenience
instead of a house of sacrifice. This was one cause for Jesus’ anger. Additionally, Jesus was angry because of
the exploitation of the Jewish citizens; selling them animals at an outrageous expense in order to takeadvantage of their need to fulfill spiritual requirements. First of all, inspectors were appointed to examine
animals to be offered at an inspection fee of 1 pence. However, any animals that were brought from home
were almost always rejected, requiring you to purchase one from the temple. As an example, a pair of doves
could cost as little as 4 pence outside the temple grounds, but as much as 75 pence inside the Gentile court.
Jesus said, “Stop making My Father’s house into a place of business.”
Jesus’ response demonstrates slow anger, gentleness, and mercy. First of all, Jesus’ zeal was governed by
discernment as He only drove out those profaning the temple. The Bible says He fashioned together a scourge
out of cords. Strips of leather littered the ground as herdsmen used these to drive oxen and sheep in and
through the temple grounds. Jesus picks enough of them up to fashion together a whip. However, He doesn’t
whip people with it, which is a common misperception. He only uses it to drive out the oxen and sheep that
were being criminally sold. How do we know He didn’t whip people? All three types of animal sellers (ox,
sheep, dove) were removed by Jesus, since they were all exploited people. The method by which Jesus
removed the dove sellers gives us a clear understanding as to what the scourge was for. Jesus only needed to
tell the dove sellers to clear out; to pick up their cages of doves and go. No scourging mentioned with regards
to the dove sellers. You notice that Jesus doesn’t uncage and release the doves, because if He had done so
the owners would have lost their animals. So, Jesus shows slow anger, with mercy, by simply commanding the
dove-sellers to leave. If Jesus was scourging wicked sellers, He would have scourged them all and not shown
some type of favoritism toward the wicked dove sellers. The scourging was only to drive out the sheep and
ox, as whipping them drove them out swiftly, knowing that their owners would follow after them. Again, this
cleared out those who were exploitive, but showed mercy in that they were able to keep and maintain their
herds. Lastly, Jesus turned over the money tables as a show of disdain for the criminally high exchange rate.
Anger is Rooted in False Expectations
Most of the time our anger comes from a poor and unhealthy expectation. For example, let’s say a man is
married and has a stay at home wife who is raising their three young kids. He comes home and finds the
house is messy and that dinner isn’t ready on time. If he becomes angry and starts verbally abusing his wife,
he’s got hot-anger as a result of unhealthy expectations. He has no idea what his wife’s day was like or how
challenging it was that afternoon to wrangle up the kids and make dinner, etc. In that phase of life, a man in
his right mind ought to know that when he comes home he should be ready to help pick up and get dinner
finished. Expectations need to be realistic. Another example might be that you get a flat tire on the way to
work. You’re enraged and you start cussing and throwing a fit, because you think this sort of thing shouldn’t
happen to you and any interruption is an unwarranted outrage. Junk happens and we need to be able to
handle moderate to severe interruptions with an attitude of calmness and holiness.
Maybe you live and work in a hostile environment, perhaps with people that are obnoxious, loud, cuss a lot,
and generally don’t have much self-control. If so, you’d be wise to daily prepare yourself to deal with this.
There are two types of peace in this world. The first type of peace is the absence of conflict. This is the ideal
way to live, trouble free. But you might not have a choice, perhaps your home or job might be full of conflict.
Sometimes you can’t avoid conflict. Thankfully God provides a second time of peace, I’m talking about the
tranquility that is administered to believers to sustain them amidst conflict. This is a working of the Holy Spirit
found in Galatians 5:22-23. If you expect to be in a hostile environment, you need to prayerfully let the HolySpirit govern you, so that His supernatural tranquility keeps you from being a hot-head in the face of conflict
and chaos. Healthy expectations change how we address conflict!
Keys to Correcting an Anger Issue
Vulnerability – A Christian seeking to mature, will own if he has an anger issue. If others see hot anger in me,
but I say, “I’m not angry. I don’t get angry.” This sort of refusal is a barrier to reconciliation. I’m basically
shaming the other person for their honesty; like saying, “I’m above you. I couldn’t get angry like you can.
”
On the flip side, if I’m the one trying to correct someone else for being hot-headed, yet I’m never vulnerable
myself, then my refusal to be vulnerable only serves to agitate the anger in those I’m trying to correct.
“Humble yourself before the Lord, and He will lift you up” – James 4:10
Self-Evaluation – I need to ask myself, “Why was I angry over this? Addressing this answer helps identify what
I care about most. Was I angry over feeling disrespected? Then my idol is my ego and reputation. Was I angry
over being interrupted? Then my idol is my selfish time and space. Exploring why I get angry helps me to
evaluate whether or not I have healthy expectations and/or what I love that maybe I shouldn’t love so much.
“Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive
way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” – Psalm 139:23-24
Review Your Plans with God – Start your day by reviewing your schedule and plans with the Lord. Ask Him to
show you what matters and what doesn’t. If you see an event, or a time of day, that you expect to trigger
your anger, then decide ahead of time how you’ll adjust your expectations for that event. For example, “God I
know this afternoon’s phone call with my dad is one that tends to turn into fireworks. I don’t want to get mad
and cuss and yell. Prepare me now with a righteous way to handle his aggression and his excuse-making. I
don’t want to be an excuse-maker myself. Help me to recognize where I might be headed in that direction
and to correct it now. Give me your Spirit of gentleness and kindness if my dad goes off on me.”
“I will instruct you and teach you in the way which you should go; I will counsel you with My eye upon you.”
– Psalm 32:8
