Only God makes humans. No human ever evolved from a monkey or from any other type of specie. There has never been a time in human history when Neanderthals existed, as these fictional creatures are a part of the evolutionary myth. The first humans were mentally sharp and intelligent just as humans are today. God made two kinds of humans; male and female. The first was a male, which God named Adam, meaning “red.” Later, God made the second human, a female, and Adam called her “woman.” Genesis 2:23, “The man said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” Adam notes that she was “taken out” of himself because that’s literally how God created her, from one of Adam’s ribs, “So the LORD God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and he slept; then He took one of his ribs and closed up the flesh at that place. The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man,” Genesis 2:21-22. Adam named his wife, Eve, which means life, or living, “Now the man called his wife’s name Eve, because she was the mother of all the living,” Genesis 3:20.
The two human types, male and female, are also known as genders, or sexes. There are only two genders. A man is defined as an adult human male with XY chromosomes. A woman is defined as an adult human female with XX chromosomes. It’s that simple. There’s nothing complicated about defining a man or a woman. However, things can get complicated when we try to define manhood and womanhood. This essay aims to highlight what the Bible says about manhood and womanhood, while additionally exploring how men and women are designed to function together despite having different roles.
Biblical Headship
Throughout the Bible we see two institutions that the Lord established; marriage and the local church. These institutions are earthly models that depict heavenly realities. In heaven, Jesus Christ is head over all of His followers, who are known as “His bride” (Revelation 19:7). Bride is a term that denotes the permanent union of love between Christ and His church. Our earthly marriage union is intended to reflect this as the husband has the role of Christ; a role known as headship. Headship is the divine calling placed upon men to lead in the home and in the church; carrying the primary responsibility of leadership and accountability before the Lord. The wife’s role in the marriage union is representative of the church, and just as the Christian church is under the headship of Christ, so the wife is under the headship of the husband. When both the husband and wife are operating in their roles as God designed, there is harmony, cooperation, joy, unity, etc. Can these roles be reversed? Can the church switch places and become the head over Christ? Far be it! In the same way, the roles within a marriage covenant cannot be switched by placing the wife in the role of headship over the husband. It’s important to note that headship in no way implies that men are more intelligent, more mature, have preferred giftings, or are a superior gender. Headship also has nothing to do with whether or not the husband has been a Christian longer than the wife, or if the husband has more Scriptural knowledge than the wife. Headship is simply God’s role for the husband.
Regarding the local church, headship means that certain men are tasked with the offices of pastor and elder and these offices carry the primary responsible for church leadership and accountability before the Lord. Let’s unpack some passages of Scripture pertaining to these things.
Headship – God’s Plan from Creation
Both male and female are made in the image of God. This is key! There is equality between the genders as both share the same human nature, value, and dignity. However, the two genders are given differing roles, none of which diminish the value of the other. When we examine Genesis 1-3, we see examples of differing responsibilities between men and women. The headship of man is established as man was created before woman. This is a point that the Lord draws our attention to again in the New Testament when showing why headship falls on the husband. More will be said about that later. In Genesis, the woman is made as a helper for the man (Genesis 2:18). Man is given the responsibility to name the creatures on the earth (Genesis 2:19-20). The woman is made from the man’s flesh; showing a type of equality in that she came from his side (Genesis 2:21-22), while denoting the man’s headship in that she came from him.
Headship is seen in Genesis 2:24, which says, “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Obviously both a man and a woman leave their parents to get married, but the man is in view as the key figure to start the new family unit being formed, and man is named first in the roles of father and mother. Headship is further expressed by the fact that the Lord spoke to Adam and not Eve when giving the instruction about the forbidden fruit (Genesis 2:16-17). Then, when the couple sinned, the Lord went to Adam to give an account for the couple’s choices (Genesis 3:9-12). The Lord accused Adam of listening to the voice of his wife instead of the voice of the Lord. Genesis 3:17 says, “Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you…” In fact, Romans 5 makes clear that the fall of mankind is pinned squarely on the shoulders of Adam.
One might say, “If it wasn’t for Eve, we’d all be playing naked volleyball in the Garden of Eden right now!” That statement however, wouldn’t be true. A closer look at the first sin gives clarity as to why Adam’s to blame, and not Eve. You can read the account in full in Genesis 3. First, it’s important to know why Satan went to Eve and not Adam. Satan was aware of God’s role of headship placed on Adam, and Satan chose to undermine that role, choosing to go to Eve to be the decision maker for the couple. Adam was standing alongside Eve, watching and listening as Satan and Eve talked. Adam ought to have stepped in, stood in the gap, and redirected the conversation to himself. Doing so would have protected his wife from temptation and given Adam the chance to clarify what God actually said regarding the forbidden tree. Instead, Adam shrunk back from his role as head of the family, took a passive position, and watched his wife become deceived. The Bible makes clear that Eve was deceived, resulting in her eating the forbidden fruit. 1 Timothy 2:14, “it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman.” Adam wasn’t deceived, he rebelled. Both Adam and Eve are guilty of sin as they both took and ate the forbidden fruit, but the Lord goes straight to Adam to give an account, and because of Adam’s rebellion and failed headship, the blame falls on him.
Headship is not a role that was instituted as a result of the Adam and Eve’s sin. God created the role of headship before the couple sinned. Before Adam sinned, God ordained Adam as a loving and strong leader for his wife Eve. Before Eve sinned, God ordained Eve as a supporting partner who was to honor Adam’s leadership. Both before and after sin, woman was called to a righteous submission, which is the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband’s leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts. So, sin doesn’t create the role of headship, sin simply distorts Biblical headship. Because of sin, men too often abandon servant-leadership and become either passive or harsh toward their wives. Because of sin, women too often abandon the support and honor of their husbands and choose manipulation, defiance, or helplessness. The roles for males and females are grounded in God’s original design, and not in pride or by cultural expectations. This is why passages like Ephesians 5 have to redirect people back to God’s original design. Sadly, God’s standards for men and women will offend weaker Christians in the church today. The church needs to recover God’s standards of Biblical headship.
Biblical Submission
When examining man’s distinct accountability to the Lord regarding marriage and the church, these truths don’t imply that women are not also accountable to the Lord. Women have a distinct calling as well, a position of submission. To reiterate what was said before, Biblical submission is the divine calling placed upon a wife to affirm her husband’s position of headship and to assist him in carrying out the functions of the home. And with regards to the church, Biblical submission is the divine calling of both the women and the laymen in the church to submit to the authority placed on the male elders of the church, and to serve within the church according to their giftings. For the Christian woman, Biblical submission is a freeing situation. This is because the weight of authority rests on male headship. For example, the wife is consulted and her opinion is highly considered (1 Peter 3:7), yet she is unburdened from being the ultimate decisions maker. 1 Peter 3:7, “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” Some key words to examine here are “understanding,” “weaker,” “honor,” and “fellow heir.” The word “understanding” means intentional wisdom and knowledge. The word “weaker” refers to general traits that are present in women as compared to a man, as women tend to be physically less strong than men, and tend to have more delicate emotions as compared to a man. The word “honor” means value and rank, and “fellow heir” means a joint and equal participant with regards to her salvation and redemption through Christ. In summary, the husband is cautioned to not to lord over his wife or treat her roughly, but he is to use wisdom in understanding her, considerate of her input, gentle with his strength. He’s to value her opinion and insight in lieu of her position as his wife and as a joint part of the body of Christ. If a husband fails to be considerate of his wife, then even his prayers will “be hindered.” Additionally, the type of weakness that women have as compared to men, isn’t a weakness in their nature or value, nor is it a weakness to be belittled. Instead, it’s a type of weakness that calls for honoring her, not overlooking her. A mature Christian man will love his wife in this manner, and a mature Christian woman will affirm and nurture the leadership of her husband.
Submit to One Another
Ephesians 5:22 says, “wives be subject to your own husbands,” but before Paul gives this command, he reminds us in the previous verse that we are first to, “be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.” God sees fit to remind us that one gender is not to lord over the other. Submitting to one another is critical as no person ought to be so opinionated that he/she dismisses the will of others. We’re meant to go through life together, harmonizing, accommodating one another, “in the fear of Christ,” keeping reverence to Christ always before us. This chapter, and other contexts of the Scriptures, remind us of the good order of things which God has designed; men submit to the Lord (Genesis 3:9-17, Ephesians 5:22-33), wives submit to husbands (Ephesians 5:22), children submit to parents (Ephesians 6:1), families submit to the authority of the elders in the church (Hebrews 13:17), younger submit to older (1 Peter 5:5), and everyone submitting to the governing authorities which the Lord has established (Romans 13:1).
Church Headship
There are a handful of Bible texts that provide details about church headship, and 1 Timothy 3 is a significant place to start. 1 Timothy 3:1- 1-15, “It is a trustworthy statement: if any man aspires to the office of overseer, it is a fine work he desires to do. An overseer, then, must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, prudent, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine or pugnacious, but gentle, peaceable, free from the love of money. He must be one who manages his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity (but if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?), and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation incurred by the devil. And he must have a good reputation with those outside the church, so that he will not fall into reproach and the snare of the devil.” Even from a casual reading it’s obvious that male headship is understood with regards to qualifications for church overseers, as the language points solely to men; “man,” “he,” “husband,” “his.” Another passage on church leadership is Titus 1:5-9, “For this reason I left you in Crete, that you would set in order what remains and appoint elders in every city as I directed you, namely, if any man is above reproach, the husband of one wife, having children who believe, not accused of dissipation or rebellion. For the overseer must be above reproach as God’s steward, not self-willed, not quick-tempered, not addicted to wine, not pugnacious, not fond of sordid gain, but hospitable, loving what is good, sensible, just, devout, self-controlled, holding fast the faithful word which is in accordance with the teaching, so that he will be able both to exhort in sound doctrine and to refute those who contradict.” The instructions here are mirroring what 1 Timothy says, and apply only to men.
Let’s draw attention to some specific words in these passages; “office of overseer,” “elders,” “manage,” and “steward.” The “office of overseer” means the charge of oversight given to certain men for the purpose of governing over the church. “Elders” is a synonym for overseer; the title or rank for those men who preside over the church. Words like “steward” and “manage” are synonyms that denote some of the function that elders and overseers carry, specifically to act as superintendent and head proprietor over the church. 1 Timothy 5:17 goes further to clarify the main function of elders/overseers, “ The elders who rule well are to be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching.” The two main functions are noted as “rule,” which is to govern, and “preaching and teaching,” which is to shepherd or feed the congregation by the giving of the Word. So, elders have two primary functions; govern and teach/preach. Most local churches have an elder governing board; most will be operating as governors and a few will be tasked with the role of teaching/preaching. For example, a local church may have six men on the elder board, of which two of them are the lead pastor and the associate pastor. The six men will collectively govern the church (steward the money, guide and direct the church vision for outreach, discipleship, missions, etc.) but only the two will be affirmed with the gifting and responsibility of bringing the Word before the congregation.
Women as Pastors
All Christians are charged with the operation of ministering to others, and as such, all Christians are ministers. However, there are roles of ministry that God has designed for men only. These of course are the headship roles mentioned previously; elder/pastor. Once again, as Christ is the head over the church, so has He appointed man to be the head of the home and head over the church. God’s Word gives further clarity on the subject of headship, such as what’s provided in 1 Timothy 2:11–14, “A woman must quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness. But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet. For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve. And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.” Let’s unpack these verses carefully, as it’s easy to gloss over this text and assume things that are not intended.
Within the context of the church and the home, the woman is to “quietly receive instruction with entire submissiveness.” Let’s start with the word “quietly.” Quiet, or quietly, appears three times in this chapter, and refers to tranquil and peaceable living, or not stirring up contention. It does not mean, “Be silent woman, don’t speak!” This type of “quietness” is the opposite of exercising authority over men. What’s expected of Christian women here is a manner that respects and honors the headship of the men that God has placed as elders over the church, and that women are not to speak in a way that challenges that authority.
To provide greater clarity, the next clause in the passage clarifies exactly what degree of quietness is intended, “I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man.” Let’s look at the first portion of the verse, “I do not allow a woman to teach.” Certainly women can teach, as we know some are gifted by God with the spiritual gift of teaching. Consider a Christian married couple where the wife has the gift of teaching and the husband has the gift of giving. The wife would be incorrect in claiming, “Since I have the gift of teaching, it must stand to reason that God has called me to be the head of this home.” Headship is not conditional to one’s gifting. Thankfully, the Bible provides three examples of women teaching in the New Testament; women teaching other women (Titus 2:3-4), women teaching youth (2 Timothy 3:14-15, 2 Timothy 1:5), and women co-teaching with her husband, outside the church, when teaching a man (Acts 18:26). So, what is meant when the verse says, “I do not allow a woman to teach”? The key is the rest of the verse, “I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man”. This is a kind of teaching which relates to authority over a man. This begs a look at the word, “authority.” Authority here means to act on one’s own consultant, to not be governed by another, or to exercise dominion over another. This is the manner of teaching that God says is not for women within the church. In other words, the Bible is saying, I do not permit women to fill the office of elder in the church. Church submission is the divine calling of the rest of the church, both to men and women, to honor and affirm elder leadership, and to fulfill the countless other various ministries available to laymen (one who is not an elder) and women in the church.
So, verses 11-12 give the “what” – women are not to function as church elders/pastors. Next, verses 13-14 give the “why”. Let’s unpack verse 13 first, “For it was Adam who was first created, and then Eve.” To explain the reason for male headship, Paul goes all the way back to creation, before sin, to show that this headship is God’s original design and continues to be God’s expectation. This “why” removes any opportunity for people to accuse Paul of speaking culturally as the “why” precedes all culture and sin! In short, God made man first, and man is tasked with headship, that’s why women can’t have headship authority in the church.
Verse 14 adds a second reason, “And it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman being deceived, fell into transgression.” Attention is now focused on the dynamics between the man and woman in the original sin. Paul reminds us that Eve was enticed by Satan to switch roles with Adam in that she would become the decision maker for the couple. Eve was tricked; Adam was not. The point of highlighting that Adam was not deceived, implies that Adam was less capable of being managed and seduced by Satan; evidence of man being better fitted to bear the weight of governance. God had an expectation for Adam, and even though Adam failed by letting Eve be the decision maker for the couple, it doesn’t mean that Eve was now to take the role of headship. Being deceived, Eve showed that she was not suited to the position of headship, and God saw fit to further place Eve in a subordinate role (Genesis 3:16).
One might ask, “Aren’t there women missionaries and ministers? How is that different from women functioning as church elders?” There are countless ways in which a woman can minister, without holding the office of elder. Keep in mind that the majority of the world’s population are women and children, so there are innumerable opportunities for women to minister within their gifting.
Sometimes a woman might claim that God has told her that she’s to serve as an elder in the church. When someone says, “God told me…”, this statement often implies, “So therefore I can’t be challenged.” In contrast, the Bible commands us to put to the test anyone who claims to have received a specific instruction from the Lord. This is both an Old and New Testament command (Deuteronomy 18:20-22, Isaiah 8:20, 1 Thessalonians 5:21, 1 John 4:1) and one the Bereans were praised for (Acts 17:11). God’s Word always holds sway over someone’s statement of, “God told me…”
One might suggest that it’s intolerant or misogynistic to suggest that a woman can’t function as a church elder. These are the common threats of the day that cause Christians to shrink back and accept standards that are not Biblical. Regardless of the issue at hand (women as pastors, homosexuality, abortion, alcohol, profanity, etc.), our culture will always accuse the church of being judgmental or bigoted. Christians are told to expect this (John 15:18-29, 1 John 3:13).
Headship Requires Servant-Leadership
Servant-leadership is a quality that sets real men apart from weak men. In our flesh, we’re inclined to seek advantage, position, and authority. The disciples of Jesus struggled with these things, arguing with one another about which of them was the greatest. Jesus responds by saying that the greatest among you must become as the youngest, and the leader as one who serves, (Luke 22:25–26). Jesus modeled servant-leadership by washing the feet of the disciples (John 13:1–17), and of course being willing to lay down His life for the benefit of others, even His enemies (Romans 5:10). To be a man like Jesus will require charity to others, patience with others, and humble discernment of others. Servant-leadership isn’t simple or easy.
Here are some markers that one can use to gauge if he is a servant-leader. A servant-leader doesn’t seek his own glory, but the glory of the Lord, his Master. Just as Jesus was submitted to the will of the Father in heaven, so a Christian man will become a bond-servant of Jesus (Ephesians 6:6). A bond-servant isn’t seeking public approval, nor to lord over anyone. He’s only seeking please His Savior and be governed by the Holy Spirit. I’m reminded of John the Baptist, who was told that Jesus was getting more attention, to which John replied, “He must increase, and I must decrease,” John 3:30.
Another marker is that a servant-leader seeks the greatest good of those that he serves. It’s one thing to do what’s required, but it’s another thing all together when one aims to bring joy to the heart of those he serves.
A servant-leader will also waive his rights if it means clarifying the gospel for someone else. The apostle Paul did this by denying himself certain comforts, which were perfectly legitimate, because some of these comforts were a stumbling block to weaker Christians or to non-Christians; hence blurring the gospel. Paul says, “I have made myself a servant to all, that I might win more,” (1 Corinthians 9:19). On the subject of servant-leadership, one of my favorite pastors, John Piper, says, “Elder-authority is servant-authority and servant-leadership. That’s why teaching is at the heart of elder calling. Elder-authority leads by persuasion — by teaching — not by coercion or political maneuvering. Elder-authority is always subordinate to biblical texts. It can always be called to account by Scripture. Therefore, teaching is the primary instrument of leadership in the church.”
Love and Respect
With regards to manhood and womanhood, God has created a desire in all of us to be loved and respected. In general, men have a greater need to be respected than women, and women have a greater need to be loved than men. Consider the human nature like a gas tank on a car; men run best when their respect tank is filled and women run best when their love tank is filled. God has simply wired men to thrive more on respect, and women to thrive more on love. In the marriage relationship, God has instructed, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church,” Ephesians 5:25. And with regards to wives, “the wife must see to it that she respects her husband,” Ephesians 5:33. Why would the Lord need to state these commands? Wouldn’t they be obvious? Not necessarily. It’s in our nature to give the kind of attention that we crave. Hence, women naturally will give more love and men will naturally give more respect, because these are the values our genders crave the most. So, given that men generally demonstrate respect, it makes sense that God would need to tell husbands that they need to focus on loving their wives, as that’s what the wife craves most. Likewise, God has to tell women to respect their husbands as that’s what the men crave most. In the same way, God has to tell kids to honor and obey their parents; because these things don’t come naturally.
Let’s focus more closely on the quality of love that wives need from their husbands. God tells husbands to love their wives, “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,” Ephesians 5:25. The inclusion of “and gave Himself up for her,” underscores the sacrificial type of love that’s in view. In other words, husbands have to bear the trouble that would otherwise befall his wife; take those burdens upon himself just as Jesus sacrificed Himself for His church. A real man cannot say that he loves his wife if he’s not sacrificing; putting her needs first and bearing her burdens as though they were his own. This is the type of love that won’t come naturally for the husband.
Consider how the wife must also reach beyond what is natural for her. For example, a woman can love a man that she has no respect for. We have all heard of women that return to a man that abuses her, because she “loves him.” But ask that same women if she respects him; she’ll say no. I say this to point out how natural it is for women to dispense love even when no respect is felt. Wives have to be told to respect their husbands.
“But what if she doesn’t deserve my love?” Or, “What if he hasn’t earned my respect?” Here is where we start to negotiate with God. Fights will happen in a marriage, no doubt. To the husband, God will say, “Didn’t I command you to love her?” Then husband may reply, “Yes, but you know that she disrespected me three days ago and called me that name I hate! She hasn’t apologized yet and she knows it!” God will respond, “I told you to love her, not because of how she may treat you, but because of how I’ve treated you. Love your wife unto Me. Look right past her behavior and sacrificially put her needs above your own, and her feelings above your feelings.” Then the husband will say, “Yeah, but…” To which God will reply, “No buts! Love your wife as I have loved you.” This type of love will produce loveliness.
And to the wife, God will say, “Didn’t I command you to respect your husband?” She may say, “Yes, but You know he’s been so unloving lately; not making time for me and not listening when I’m talking to him.” God will respond, “I told you to respect Him, and not because of his behavior toward you. I want you to look past him and respect him unto Me. Honor Me, by respecting your husband.” Then the wife will say, “Yeah, but…” To which God will reply, “No buts! Respect your husband as an act of honor and reverence to Me.” This type of respect produces respectability.
Manhood
Ask people to define manhood and you’ll get a broad range of answers. You’ll hear things that emphasize provision, like paying bills. Others might emphasize bravado, like being in control or being tough. While some of these things have their place in the appropriate context, real manhood is so much more. Biblical manhood is a high calling, a role of great responsibility.
Biblical manhood is leading, providing, and protecting. Leading is done through servant-leadership, not through a sense of superior lordship. Biblical leadership accepts the weight of the final say while always considering the input of others. Leadership is Biblical when he welcomes accountability and he humbly repents when he sins. Leadership is Biblical when it initiates what ought to happen in the home, not waiting for her to suggest it. Providing is done through sacrifice; giving up what you love for something you love even more. Protecting is guarding those he loves; defending against filthy media, temptation to sin, and physical threats of any kind.
Sadly, too many Christian men shy away from these expectations and become poor examples for younger men to follow. Manhood is difficult. Jesus was a real man; modeling selflessness and sacrifice. In short, manhood requires men to see people as Jesus sees people. A boy says, “I’m responsible for myself.” A man says, “I’m responsible for others.”
Womanhood
Ask people to define womanhood and you may hear things that emphasize traits like graceful or charming. Others might emphasize being empathetic, hospitable, or may focus on beauty or poise. While these may be qualities that older women might instill in younger women, or which men might find attractive, Biblical womanhood goes beyond these things.
Biblical womanhood emphasizes a woman’s character that is free to enjoy the leadership of godly men in her life, respecting them, while delighting in her part to nurture and support her family and community. Biblical womanhood understands that the weight of headship that is worn by godly men and she’s unburdened by that reality. She delights in the opportunity to nurture those in her home, her church, and in her spheres of influence. She does this by supporting, encouraging, strengthening those around her, as a helper who knows she’s suited for this critical task. Her character flourishes by being productive in these areas.
A Biblical example of a godly wife is described in great detail in Proverbs 31:10-31. Most of these details apply to Biblical womanhood in general, and are certainly not limited to women who are married. Amongst the many details here are the following; trustworthy, diligent, wise, charitable, endeavoring, strong in faith, dignified, kind, and fearing the Lord. Additionally, we see in 1 Peter 3:1-6 that Biblical womanhood is expressed by the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit. A godly woman who carries herself with these qualities is a woman who is assured of her feminine identity in such a more deep and powerful way than how today’s culture describes femininity.
God’s Design Is Best Because it is Good
The bottom line is that men and women are at their best when they operate within the qualities and roles that God has created for them to fill. Families benefit by Biblical manhood and womanhood. Communities benefit by Biblical manhood and womanhood. Churches benefit by Biblical manhood and womanhood. Christian men and women have got to do a better job of showing the world a better way. No more compromising! If you’re a man, be a godly man! If you’re a woman, be a godly woman!