Too often, people rest on the assumption, “God made me this way.” This is said when a person has certain unlearned or
apparent innate desires, tendencies, attractions, or tastes. We tell ourselves that we’re wired this way, so we simply go
ahead and engage these interests because they seem to be God given. But, do tastes and attractions imply that they
should be considered normal, healthy, or good?
Consider the fact that we were not born with a desire to forgive. Yet, God expects us to forgive. Forgiveness is not
natural, it’s a learned behavior, a choice, an act of the will, that goes against everything we might be feeling. I remember
being a little kid and my brother snatched a toy from my hand. I screamed at him, hit him, and tried to take it back. My
mom took us aside and told me that I needed to forgive him and that I should ask nicely for the toy to be given back. Her
advice seemed foreign. Forgiveness wasn’t how I was wired. What came natural to me was selfishness, revenge, and
entitlement. Even now as a grown man, my tendency is to want to be unforgiving, pleasure-seeking, and a feelings-
driven individual. The problem is that living out these tendencies results in significant consequences. With God’s help, I
can enjoy the life of freedom from being governed by these natural desires.
The central truth of this essay is that I am created with some innate desires, that if I act on them, it would be sin. All of
my desires must be brought into subjection to the Lord; the ones I’m allowed to act upon, and the ones I’m forbidden to
act upon.
Having raised two kids of my own, I watched their tendencies manifest into behaviors. My son had a tendency toward
anger. He would often become quickly agitated and yell at his sister. My daughter tended to be a people pleaser, which
often led to passive behaviors and cowering. In time, both my son and daughter would discover the problems that were
created by living out their tendencies. Later, as they matured into young adults, they gained a greater understanding of
how to reign in their feelings and bringing them under submission to the Lord. Speaking for myself, now almost fifty
years old, living with obedience and subjection to the Lord is still a challenge. It’s a daily choice. I’m not the man I want
to be, but I’m not the man I used to be. I’m thankful for the Lord’s patience in my life and that He’s still working on me!
Years ago I was leading a men’s small group at church. A man in our group was wrestling with homosexual attraction. I
could see that he was nervous about sharing such feelings in a group of men. I’m glad the men in our group created an
atmosphere where we could all be transparent without anyone being shamed for what was shared. This individual
talked about his struggles, and he wondered if God had simply made him to be gay. I thanked him for his honesty. I
explained to him that we all have attractions that we’re not allowed to engage. I said that as a heterosexual man, once I
got married, it didn’t mean that I stopped finding other women attractive. Having innate heterosexual attractions
doesn’t mean that I’m free to mentally or physically give in to them. I’m allowed to engage those desires with my wife,
but outside of our marriage relationship, any other sexual attractions must be submitted to the Lord.
We are all going to have some natural impulses and desires that we’re never allowed to entertain. For some it might be
desires for revenge and covetousness, and for others it might be desires for homosexuality or fornication. These desires
will never have an acceptable context to engage them. We know this to be true because God’s Word makes it clear. A
person with homosexual attractions would be right to say, “I have no outlet to engage my homosexual desires.” In the
same way a heterosexual person who is unmarried might say, “I have no outlet, as an unmarried man, to engage my
heterosexual desires.” Both must take their thoughts captive (2 Corinthians 10:5) to the obedience of Christ. The battle
for purity wages war within us, no matter what our attractions. All of our desires must be subjected to the Lord if we’re
desiring to honor Him with our lives. With the Holy Spirits help, there is victory!
God provides a way, with every temptation, to avoid sinning, and he does not allow us to be tempted beyond what we
can handle. 1 Corinthians 10:13, “No temptation has overtaken you but such as is common to man; and God is faithful,
who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will provide the way of
escape also, so that you will be able to endure it.
”Here are some examples of how you might engage people with wisdom and gentleness if someone claims that some
people are born gay. If they claim, “God makes a person this way,
” you might ask, “What teaches you to believe that God
makes people to be gay? What teaches you to believe that God makes people at all?” If they claim that their belief
comes from the Bible, then it would be reasonable to use the Bible and cite what God says about homosexuality.
Romans 1:18-27 teaches us that nobody is created to be homosexual, and that homosexuality is an unnatural activity;
not designed by God. These verses describe a type of wicked people who know God, but still reject Him and pursue their
own selfish interests. As a result “God gave them over in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, so that their bodies
would be dishonored among them. For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie…For this reason God gave them over
to degrading passions; for their women exchanged the natural function for that which is unnatural and in the same
way also the men abandoned the natural function of the woman and burned in their desire toward one another, men
with men committing indecent acts and receiving in their own persons the due penalty of their error.” Homosexual
activity is here called “dishonored,” “lusts,” “impurity,” “degrading passions,” “unnatural,” “abandoning the natural
function,” “indecent,” and “error.”
If someone denies the reality of God or the Bible, then a question to ask might be, “If there is no God, and sexuality is
just a random circumstance of the evolutionary process, then there is no reason to suggest that any type of sexual
behavior is right or wrong. Without God, sexuality would be a totally relative behavior and all together subjective. But, if
God is real, and if God created our sexuality to have a purpose, then it’s reasonable to ask what that purpose is. If God is
real, then it would be logical that He would provide boundaries that our sexuality must operate in.
”
The same argument can be said regarding anger. If God is real, then it’s logical to assume He has boundaries and a
purpose for anger. Anger can be good as a natural impulse when injustice occurs. Yet, I’m commanded to bridle my
anger and limit the extent of how I can use it. But, remove God from the picture and in my anger, I can murder, steal,
destroy, and nobody can tell me that I’m doing anything objectively wrong.
A Change in the Church
With regards to sexual behavior, the Christian Church has been guilty of wrongly emphasizing homosexuality as a
“greater sin” than any other type of sexual immorality. Christians have wrongly minimized some immoral sins like
adultery and fornication, while at the same time condemning homosexuality is far worse. Sexual sin is sexual sin; lusting
is just as unrighteous whether a man lusts over a woman, or if a man lusts over a man. Both behaviors ought to be
corrected, and both types of people ought to be loved by the Church and challenged to enjoy God’s design for right
sexual living. With regards to this topic, instead of being quick to condemn the sins of others, I’d strongly advise that the
sin we tolerate the least ought to be our own sin.
Conclusion
Some things that come naturally ought to be celebrated and enjoyed. Other things that come naturally ought to be
reined in or avoided all together. All thoughts, deeds, words, and attitudes ought to be under subjection to the Lord and
all things done for His glory! Colossians 3:17, “Whatever you do in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord
Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.” 1 Corinthians 10:31, “Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or
whatever you do, do all things for the glory of God.” When the Apostle Paul writes, “whether you eat or drink,
” he
means to say that even in the mundane things that happen all throughout the day, even in the little stuff, do it all for the
glory of God.
